Feline insomnia
How my nights have recently played out.
11:30 pm: fall asleep.
1:45 am: I can't breathe. Open eyes, panicked. A large cat paw is on my nose, occluding my nostrils. As soon as he sees my eyes are opened, Sampson lets out his loud "MEH", meaning, "feed me now, beeyotch." Sampson is promptly tossed from the bed.
1:57 am: fall back to sleep.
3:02 am: wake up when a loud thud emanates from the end of the bed. The Butters has landed. Fall back to sleep.
3:38 am: wake up when circulation is cut off to my foot. Fatty has rolled over onto my left leg. Move him over, get a loud "eh, eh, meh" in return and a bite. Butters is hereby evicted from the bedroom by order of the Court of Cara.
3:53 am: fall back to sleep.
4:40 am: Slurp, slurp. Open one eye. Sampson is eating my hair. Dammit. Another eviction. Back to bed.
5:25 am: Casper caterwauls at the top of his lungs on my dresser. He knocks my Sudoku book and pen off the dresser. I huck the pen at him. I miss and it lands at Sampson's feet. Sampson begins eating the pen. Butters gets back up on the bed. I now have a caterwauling cat, a cat eating a pen, and a cat again cutting off blood flow to my foot. My husband has slept through everything. Cats are tossed outside, bedroom closed up. Again.
5:41 am: fall back to sleep.
6:06 am: Casper repeatedly throws himself against the door until it opens. All three cats storm the bed. I'm under siege.
6:25 am: alarm clock goes off. Another day begins.
Special needs cats to any home that applies. It doesn't have to be a good home, it just has to be a home that's not ours.
11:30 pm: fall asleep.
1:45 am: I can't breathe. Open eyes, panicked. A large cat paw is on my nose, occluding my nostrils. As soon as he sees my eyes are opened, Sampson lets out his loud "MEH", meaning, "feed me now, beeyotch." Sampson is promptly tossed from the bed.
1:57 am: fall back to sleep.
3:02 am: wake up when a loud thud emanates from the end of the bed. The Butters has landed. Fall back to sleep.
3:38 am: wake up when circulation is cut off to my foot. Fatty has rolled over onto my left leg. Move him over, get a loud "eh, eh, meh" in return and a bite. Butters is hereby evicted from the bedroom by order of the Court of Cara.
3:53 am: fall back to sleep.
4:40 am: Slurp, slurp. Open one eye. Sampson is eating my hair. Dammit. Another eviction. Back to bed.
5:25 am: Casper caterwauls at the top of his lungs on my dresser. He knocks my Sudoku book and pen off the dresser. I huck the pen at him. I miss and it lands at Sampson's feet. Sampson begins eating the pen. Butters gets back up on the bed. I now have a caterwauling cat, a cat eating a pen, and a cat again cutting off blood flow to my foot. My husband has slept through everything. Cats are tossed outside, bedroom closed up. Again.
5:41 am: fall back to sleep.
6:06 am: Casper repeatedly throws himself against the door until it opens. All three cats storm the bed. I'm under siege.
6:25 am: alarm clock goes off. Another day begins.
Special needs cats to any home that applies. It doesn't have to be a good home, it just has to be a home that's not ours.
2 Comments:
Sometimes I think they'd all look cuter stuffed. ;)
Sweet of you to offer, but we have more than enough cats already.
If it's at all feasible, it sounds like it's time to start shutting the cats out of your room at night. And maybe use a door stopper on your side so the cats can't push it open. Even better, if you can manage it, put another closed door between the cats and your bedroom, so you don't have to hear them trying to get in all night.
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