Cara 1, Wobblies 0
I received a picture from a friend the other day--it's a lovely picture of us, but my arms are HUGE in this picture. I have not mastered the art of "arms away from the side" so my granny arm fat doesn't pancake and man, does it show. Which has led to a Defcon-5 freakout, since I have a strapless wedding dress. Damn-nit to hell.
Ahoy mateys! Get the arm harpoon!
Ahoy mateys! Get the arm harpoon!I went online to look for a workout routine. I found this. Have I ever mentioned how much I love the Brits? Wobbly bits!! How awesome is that to describe flabby body parts? Oh no, I'm not fat, I have a wobbly tush. And arms. And tummy. I love it!
Last night I broke out the workout gear to work on the wobbly bits. They tell you to use weights of 1-5 lbs. I went into my closet and grabbed the hand weights I've been using for arm curls.
- Idea: I have one 8 lb weight and one 10 lb weight. Totally doable!
- Outcome/Commentary: HA. My advice to any of y'all considering a workout routine: make sure that your weights are balanced on each side. Listen if they say to start with 1-5 lbs. I started looking for something else to use after repetition one, as I assumed I had ripped my elbow out of the joint.
- Idea: Hmmm, cans don't weigh much--wine bottles are heavier! I'll lift with wine bottles!
- Outcome/Commentary: Anything originally meant for inebriation should not be used in a fitness workout. Especially if it is encased in glass and you are accident-prone. I let THAT bright idea work its way out of my cranium after I imagined being covered in booze and shattered glass. Then I went back to the pantry.
- Idea: One jelled cranberry sauce, one can of pumpkin pie filling. It's Thanksgiving in February!
- Outcome/Commentary: The cans were light enough that I could use them for the workout. Unfortunately, using pie filling as a workout device is a bad idea, since then you crave pie, turkey, and sweet potatoes covered in marshmallows.
- Idea: Stop being a cheapskate and go get yourself some light hand weights.
- Outcome/commentary: Hey, if I go to a mega-store, they also sell wine there! Score!
That, folks, was Cara's First Foray Against the Wobbly Bits. I will keep you updated on any other bright workout ideas, emergency room visits, and pie cravings I have in my avoidance of the arm harpoon.
4 Comments:
Your arms? So not fat. We need to hang out sometime this summer (tank top season) so I can show you what I like to call my "bat wings".
And if your wedding photographer is worth a hoot, she'll know to pose you in a way so that your arms aren't smooshed at an unflattering angle.
Idea: Angie downloads the picture and retouches your arms while you reach for some yummy cheese to go with that wine in the glass AND the bottle you're contemplating using for toning purposes. If you click on the link below, you can see before and after versions for the photo your posted. Also? I think Alissa owns that exact dress. Huh. Just sayin.'
Outcome: Happy, relaxed bride-to-be
The trick to posing for wedding photographs, by the way, is to make sure no part of your body is squished against anything else. I call it the "thigh squish" factor. You know when you're driving and you're wearing shorts and you look down at your lap and think "MY THIGHS ARE HUGE!" They aren't huge; they're just squished against the seat. A lot of times people pull back from the camera when someone takes their picture. It's a natural reaction, especially if you don't like having your photo taken, but it unfortunately causes a double chin. (I only see one chin, incidentally.)
I also added two photos to the flickr set of my all-time favorite arm-squish-free bridal party pose.
Before and After Photos
Cindy, we went with your suggestion--Starr! I think she will treat my arm fat kindly. Especially since I know where she lives (dum DAH DUMM!!)
Angie, thanks for the before and after photos. They're great!
Angie, I forgot to add that I will be incorporating those pose ideas into our wedding portaits. Most definitely.
Post a Comment
<< Home