Ups and downs

Tomorrow morning we go for some testing to try to figure out what's going on with Sammy. He's been having trouble breathing for a few weeks now. I took him to our vet and we put him on antibiotics, which had little to no effect. He's now a bit worse in the breathing department, but at least he's still eating and still has his personality. I've scheduled him for additional testing tomorrow.

I talked to our vet and the specialty vet, and there's a good possibility it's a tumor in his sinuses. I'm hoping it's not. Sammy holds a special place in my heart. I love Butters and Casper, but Sammy is my cat. He runs up to me as soon as I come home, he follows me around, and he likes to sleep with his head on my pillow, his nose touching mine. Thinking about him possibly dying (and yes, I know the day will eventually come, but I don't want it to be anytime soon) is hard for me. I've been a wreck all day, with my eyes welling up each time I talk about it. So instead I'm trying to read the Merck Vet manual and arm myself with facts and intelligent questions for tomorrow. The only thing I've come up with so far is that he should probably be on tetracyclines if it's a resistant infection, steroids if it's inflammation, and the azole antifungals will screw with his GI meds for megacolon. Otherwise I'm blubbering to myself, "please don't be a tumor, please don't be a tumor."

Uplifting, eh? That's my specialty. Please keep your fingers crossed for us for tomorrow, ok? Little Sammy needs to pull through, because otherwise his mommy is going to be a wreck for a few months to come.